Pillar #2 of the 4 Pillars To Being a Good Human Being: Wisdom From Vision Quest
In the last article I shared Pillar #1 to being a good human being. Click here to read Pillar #1.
What is the 2nd pillar (or 2nd step) to being a good human being?
We live in a world of rich diversities (cultures, race, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, plants, animals, etc, etc.). While diversity can be very enriching and brings us so much learning and variety, it can also cause frictions.
Acceptance is crucial to living harmoniously side by side on this planet.
In the five stages of grieving (denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, acceptance)
acceptance is the final (and crucial) step to overcoming a loss. Without acceptance, people are stuck in grieving. Once acceptance takes place, people are more ready to move forward with their lives.
Acceptance is crucial to being a good human being.
Not accepting people or things creates stress, pressure, unhappiness, anxiety. When we don't accept, we create hurt for ourselves, and for others.
Once we accept something or someone, we can move forward, we can live in peace, we can be empowered.
We must learn to accept people for who they are, what shape they are or traits they have; we must accept people's beliefs and lifestyles; we must accept all the plants and animals for being here, including the caterpillars who eat up my kale. Some people hate mosquitoes. I am not a fan of mosquitoes or parasites, but I learn to accept that they are here, living on this planet alongside us, and to stay away from them.
We must accept ourselves, our weaknesses, strengths and circumstances. For example, many of us don't have the perfect Hollywood portrayed body. Some of us despise our bodies because we're overweight. The more we do that, the heavier our bodies may get. Once we accept our bodies for what they are, we can begin to work toward a healthier body. Beating ourselves up only makes it harder to get in shape.
Many of us are born into dysfunctional families and raised terribly. We can cry and complain about it or accept that, that is our past, and begin to heal the hurt.
When I say to accept your circumstance, I am not saying to just live with it. I am saying accept that it's there, that it bothers you, instead of fighting against it, being in denial, or wishing it doesn't exist. Then you can begin to make positive changes, or live your life peacefully despite of it.
You don't have to like something or someone to accept them. And you do not have the right to hurt them just because you don't like them.
In some spiritual beliefs, people don't kill animals they don't like. They leave them alone. It's hard for me to see people step on a spider just because the spider happens to crawl into their view. The spider has done nothing to hurt them other than existing in the same place with them.
I know of a teacher who lives out in the desert. She has many wild life visitors - ants, lizards, snakes, coyotes, birds. She respects and accepts them. She welcomes them into her property. The energy in her property is good. All the people who come to visit feel welcome and accepted and they can feel the good vibration of the property.
All changes must come from within ourselves first, then our environment will change.
While we are not in control of changing other people, we have the control to accept other people for who they are and the plants and animals for what they are. We have the control to live peacefully alongside them.
Everyone and everything on Earth serves a purpose. If you can accept, you can move forward and focus on your life.
Acceptance is something we human yearn for. If we want to be accepted, we must also accept ourselves and others.
In the next article we will discuss Pillar #3. Check back soon.
Pillar #1 of the 4 Pillars To Being a Good Human Being: Wisdom From Vision Quest
In the last article, I shared my vision quest experience and promised to share Pillar #1 on how to be a good human being. You can read the last article HERE.
So here it is...
Pillar #1 (and step number 1) to being a good human being.
(Aretha Franklin's song R.E.S.P.E.C.T running in my head)
It's easy to respect those we like and admire. It's harder to respect those we don't like or agree with. But learn to respect them anyway.
Respect the things and living beings that you like and do not like. Respect that they have the right to be there. Respect their existence. Respect a single blade of grass growing in the crack in the cement. Respect the bugs. Respect the animals, especially the ones you eat. Respect the people who are different from you. Find a way to respect the boss/co-worker/politician you don't like. You don't have to respect their actions or character. But respect their right to existence and their right to expression. Many people quickly kill a spider or ant because they don't like them or are afraid of them. Respect them. They have the right to be here, just as you do. They have the right to exist, just as you do.
Respect yourself as well.
Respect the unpleasant situation you're in. It's here for a reason. Sometimes a very good reason. Once you respect it instead of trying to run away from here, it’ll be easier to see the gift it brings to you.
Learn to respect plants, animals, people, challenges and situations you encounter. Respect will put you in more control of your life.
Recently I had to put RESPECT into practice. My mother was very sick from an illness that could have been controlled with proper nutrition and exercise. When I advised her to stop eating certain foods that make her illness worse, she shut down. It was clear she was not willing to change that behavior, which meant her condition would only get worse. That prospect was very hard for me to take. She is my mother, how can I let her suffer more. I felt frustrated and helpless. She clearly did not want to be in pain, but was unconsciously choosing pain.
Then, I remembered to put the 4 pillars to practice.
Pillar #1: Respect.
Respect my mother's decision to be on this path of suffering. Respect the decisions she had made leading up this very painful point in her life. Offer her solutions and choices, but let her choose and respect her choice. From my narrow perspective as a human being, I would not be able to understand her path and what she needs to experience in this life. Just as others would be not be able to understand my life path and what I must experience in this life in order to grow. I may think I know what's good for her, but do I really? Just respect her decision and be there to love her.
By respecting her choice, it helped me to detach from wanting to change her behaviors. This has given me more peace of mind and allowed me to show her more love.
The first pillar and step to being a good human being is RESPECT.
I encourage you to put RESPECT into practice in your daily life and let me know how it serves you.
Pillar #2 will come in the next article.
In mid October, 2016 I went on my first vision quest, That's 3.5 days alone in the desert with no food and water. I had the most profound spiritual and life changing experience. I want to share with you my experience and what I learned, if it may inspire or encourage you to do something for yourself or overcome something challenging.
But first, a little background story.
A vision quest is a sacred Native American spiritual journey for those seeking answers to problems, to gain vision for the future, or to get healing to an illness, but not limited to these. I don't know too much about vision quest other than what I experienced. I suggest you do your own research about it if interested. The one I went on was well organized with many volunteer supporters and guided by a Native American medicine man who has guided many successful vision quests before. I knew and trusted the medicine man and his volunteer supporters. There are safety procedures in place should someone need help during the vision quest. Knowing what I know, I would only consider doing vision quests led by a medicine person who has had many years of training in the traditional Native American spirituality and has a good grounding in the Native American ways of life and spiritual medicine.
I had known about opportunities to do vision quests a few years ago but did not understand why people would fast 3.5 days alone in the desert. It just seemed crazy to me at the time. I could not fathom being in the desert without water.
Then several months ago a friend went on a vision quest and had an amazing experience where he overcame some issues. I was so inspired by his experience that shortly after I decided to go on one. If he could make it, I can too, was my thought. Plus, I think I was just ready spiritually and emotionally.
Each person's experience is unqiue and different. To me, the most challenging things were the thirst and heat. The nights were cool and beautiful and the days were hot. Just getting through the daytime desert heat was a huge challenge for me, even though I love the sun, the heat and the desert and had hiked many times in the desert heat before.
I went in with 4 intentions or outcomes I want to see in my life. What I got were those and soooo much more.
Some immediate benefits I noticed were an increase in fearlessness and confidence. I also noticed a higher sense of connection to nature and spirituality and the ability to pray easily. Small, petty things didn't bother me as much. I feel I have changed physically, emotionally and spiritual. The vision quest is very challenging with lots of discomforts, but I can't wait to do the another one. A few days after the vision quest, the pain and discomforts have completely disappeared from my mind. All I could think of are the life changing results I received, and want more of it.
Here is the most profound wisdom I got....
On the 2nd night of the vision quest, the traffic noise coming from the highway in the distance was extremely loud and constant from the evening and went into the night. Maybe there were more cars traveling that night, maybe my senses had become more sensitive. Who knew? I was frustrated because I could not fall asleep no matter what technique I used and how many yoga poses I did to tire my body. . At 2:00 AM I was still wide awake and turning and tossing on my sleeping bag under the bright moonlight and calmness of the night. Frustrated, hungry and thirsty, I surrendered and asked the Creator for help. I became very humbled and honest with my life at that moment. (I was at peace after the prayer, even though I still could not fall asleep night and the next night.)
After my prayer and the surrendering experience, I got that my life's purpose is to be a "good human being". A "good human being" is not about being a good person or doing good in the world. It has a whole different meaning. At the time I had no idea what it means to be a good human being. The meaning was too deep and too divine for me to grasp. I just trusted that this was extremely important for my existence. I came to understand that all my goals and dreams would not mean much if I did not learn to be a good human being in this existence. But if I learn to be a good human being then my goals and dreams would come true easier.
This may or may not resonate with you, but it sure resonated deep for me. This changed my life's purpose and direction. Sure, I still have the same goals and dreams and will continue to pursue them passionately as before, but learning to be a good human being takes priority.
I asked "what does it mean to be a good human being?" No answer.
A couple of days after returning home, this wisdom came to me. To begin the process of being a "good human being" there are 4 points to practice.. I called them "the 4 pillars to being a good human being". They make a lot of sense to me.
I still don't know what it means or what it takes to be a good human being, but in the meantime, applying the 4 pillars to my daily life is the starting point. I trust the necessary wisdom will come at the appropriate time, as I practice these 4 pillars.
In the next blog I will share the first pillar of being a good human being. Stay tuned.
Love and blessings, - Mee Vaj
(This blog was posted with permission from the author Holly Stein. Author wrote this at her own will, with no directive or request from me. I was so impressed with her blog that I asked her if I can post if here. To see more of Holly Stein's other awesome blogs, please visit,
November 25, 2015 Holly Stein
I could not be more grateful for all of the healing that has taken place in my life since returning home from Costa Rica! One workshop I stumbled upon was called "Self-Hypnosis To Reduce Stress." Hypnosis sounded super interesting to me and I'm always ready and willing to add another tool to my kit to battle and stress and anxiety that comes my way. The workshop was led by Mee Vaj of Myoho Wellness. She's a certified hypnotherapist and reiki master, and I've actually since started working with her as a hypnotherapy client. I have nothing but positive things to say about her! I would highly recommend reaching out to her if you would like to learn self-hypnosis or if you'd like to use hypnotherapy to overcome anxiety, fears, phobias, etc.
Before learning self-hypnosis, it's important to know what hypnosis is NOT. Here are four misconceptions of hypnosis...
Self-hypnosis is really great for meditation, relaxing, falling asleep, visualizing and releasing stress. This state allows your body and mind to heal, and I often feel like I've woken up from a refreshing nap! I personally love self-hypnosis for visualizing because it helps put these ideas into your subconscious.
Below is how you actually get into a state of self-hypnosis. Please do NOT try this the first time without being guided by a hypnotherapist! Mee hypnotized us first and gave us suggestions that would allow us to do it on our own. If you'd like to learn how to do self-hypnosis safely and effectively, give her a call! She's awesome!
In Hypnotherapy, Self Love, Self Help, Mental Tags Self Healing, Self Improvement, Self Love, Self Hypnosis
Mee Vaj is a Certified Hypnotherapist and Reiki Master. A student of spirituality and healing, she is always learning about humanity and different healing techniques so she can be of the best service to her clients and her community.